Well hello 2013
I have a very strong feeling that 2013 is going to be the game-changer year. We have already been blasted with blessings that have filled our cup until it runneth over. Things have very suddenly become busier than ever for me, but the energy it has given me makes it all worth it and more.
Amidst all the recent busyness, Rod allowed me to leave the girls at home to go have lunch with the boys at school today. Why have I never done this before? (Well, I guess unemployment does have some benefits). It was such an amazing window into the life I am not witnessing when my boys go away to school all day. I entered the lunch room to mingle with hundreds of 1st and 2nd graders and left feeling so appreciative for all those energetic little bodies and capable little minds. They were so cute and so full of light. I wanted to squeeze every single one (especially the ones who looked lonely) and tell them what a bright spot they were in the world.
Milo might have as well been king because kids never ceased to bring him treats or tell him secrets as they look on for approval, beg to sit next to him and offer him their number for play dates. I don't think he has even a clue how many look to him as a leader, but truly he was born to get others' attention. He never stops talking and is always comparing the outside world to the inside world of science he is so curious about. His desire to do the right thing dominates many of his choices of late, and I've noticed a huge soft spot for me, to which I hope I never EVER take for granted while it lasts. How many years do I have of his tight hugs and spontaneously offered kisses? He is so young and so old at the same time. This makes my heart flip when I see him from afar.
Elliot was on the other end of the spectrum. Not a lonely child but quietly connected with the cutest group of little boys you ever saw. He is not a man of many words and does not put much effort into reaching out but he is kind and sensitive and enjoys boy conversations and funny tricks like any other boy would. Occasionly he gets brave enough to show his tough wild side. Everyone talks louder than him and he doesn't seem to mind, but I think he wishes he knew how to join groups that haven't discovered his offerings yet. He still begs to be tucked in every night and is scared of the dark. And unfortunately that kids' fluterring eyelashes and big sparkly eyes can make me do anything he asks, even if he's been a stink. The soft spot I have for him is as tender as his own heart and he is ALWAYS the first one to help his sibling when they are sad and wants to give away anything he has ever own if he senses a need. That kid. Oh I love that kid.
Flora is in a league of her own. I remember so clearly the feeling of every dream of mine coming true when she was born and she has not let us down... nor let us breathe a single breath of our own since that day. She dominates every scene, every demand, every moment of my life unless she's sleeping (which is why she is still requred a full two-hour daily nap). She drives us all batty with her demands, which is why she is nick-named our Little Wedge--no one can get a hug, read a book, eat a snack, or have a private moment without her squeezing her self in the middle and demaning a piece of whatever we have or are doing. Although, she loves doing dishes, coloring, cooking, cleaning and pretty much anything the boys never really like to do. It's amazing how different they come into this world and she is a bright spot in all of our days with her smile and spunk. I can't live with her and I can't live without her--it's a good situation.
Juniper. Oh, Juni. I could write a sonnet every day for the rest of my life and never touch the tip of the iceberg of my love (obsession really) for that baby. If ever I have a spare moment, I relish in the time I get to spend playing with her. I could waste hours trying to get her to laugh and smile, which is not all that difficult. She is happy. She is fat. She is easy to please. She naps awesome. She hates getting her diaper changed, which after four babies, it's cuter than it is annoying. She bites me when I nurse her and laughs, and then after I cry I laugh too. She is so fat she can't crawl beyond a snails pace. She eats anything and everything. She loves to burry her face in my body. Can you say favorite child? She is happiness and pure joy rolled in a coating a bliss and sprinkled with so much sweetness I could chew on her forever. How's that for sappy? I figure if she's my last baby, I am allowed to love her guts harder than is healthy. That's my job and I know all too well the Wonder Years are numbered and fading WAY too fast.
Rod is dilligently looking for a job and come the first of February it will have been four months that we have somehow survived without stable income. The only way I can describe our existence is by miracles and more miracles. We have been lifted, supported, inpsired and encouraged by loving family and friends and this is how we have recognized the hand of God in our lives. This opportunity to feel love and grattitude at the degree we consistently do for others these last few months, is not only humbling but incredibly rewarding. It has given us experiences that we will benefit from for the rest of our lives and hopefully go on to pass that flame when we are able. I know there are more miracles waiting for us and I hope we can do them justice. I am learning to praise God in the form of being an instrument to serve, as others have done for us.
